An Anti-bucket list: The Things I hope to never do before I die

We all have things in life that we really want to do before we eventually die, in fact, everyone has a bucket list these days – I’m still working on mine! However what about the things we don’t ever want to do? For fun, I’ve come up with my own Anti-bucket list for all the things I hope I never ever have to go through.

  1. Hold a Tarantula –  Spiders are like the Flash versions of arachnids, they always appear suddenly when you don’t want them and disappear just as quick when you turn around to find a weapon to defend yourself with, or in my case find a high place to stand whilst my partner gets it.
  2. Shave off my eyebrows – Yeah, I never want to go without eyebrows, and I would never be able to pull off having them drawn on. The upkeep of my eyebrows is already enough hassle for me, let alone having to draw them on every day.
  3. Go to Prison – Although I think UK prisons are quite cushy, it still doesn’t appeal to me. I enjoy my freedom and prefer looking at prisons from the outside (Love prison documentaries)
  4. Be Buried Alive – It doesn’t look fun and quite frankly knowing my luck there would be hundreds of bugs near me.
  5. Take a pole dancing class – Some things can not be unseen and I will not put anyone through seeing me half naked on a pole. Not to mention I am as graceful as a giraffe on rollerskates.
  6. Watch all the Twilight movies – Sorry but I will never ever watch any of these all the way through. I tried giving the first one a chance and wanted to burn the whole thing. Vampires SHOULD NOT sparkle and it made me realise that some films are best unseen.
  7. Wear stilettos. Remember I said about my lack of grace? Watching me in stilettos would be like watching a newborn horse learn to walk and would probably end up with me breaking my leg.
  8. Lose my sarcasm and sense of humour – These two things are what makes me, me. Losing that I think would make life so dull and I have a wide range of things that make me laugh, so if I lose this I might already be dead.
  9. Attend a high school reunion – Yeah there is a reason I was so happy to get out of there, why would I want to go back to see people who just gave me grief?
  10. Run with the Bulls – This event is inhumane and honestly, I always wish for the bull to win whenever I see it on the news. After this ‘chase’ most of the time there’s then a Bullfight where the Bull gets killed with spears. How is this fun? I don’t know why people enjoy being chased by something that could easily kill you, not to mention the countless hyped up men and women who turn into a stampede. But, if you enjoy being trampled by hordes of adrenaline-fueled dudes trying to prove their manhood to the guy behind them, by all means, go to the event, just know that if you go to these events, you’re kinda asking to be impaled by the bull.
  11. I will never ask my partner to wear a matching outfit – Some people may think its cute but I would never want my other half to wear the same clothes as me. We will stand out and we both hate that sort of thing. It’s better to show your individuality.
  12. I will never own or wear Croc’s or Uggs – When you wear Croc’s you are sending a message to everyone around you. That message is: I give up.
  13. I will never eat canned tuna – The smell actually makes me feel sick, so why would I choose to eat something that makes me feel ill.
  14. Cheat – I’ll never understand those that cheat on their partner, it’s something I absolutely can’t stand and never will do myself.
  15. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon – Despite the science behind it and knowing that the risk is quite small, I still wouldn’t volunteer to go into a hot air balloon. I don’t feel safe and I don’t like the idea of being held up by a basket and balloon.
  16. Play Russian Rolette – Another thing I can’t get my head around is this game. Why would I want to dice with death and potentially shoot myself in the head or see someone else do it to themselves? No thanks, I’ll stick to the drinking version.
  17. Go Bankrupt – There’s a saying that money can’t buy you happiness. Yet money is needed to have a stable home, food and clothes to wear. Our society is constructed in a way where money has come to mean everything, and without it, life comes to halt.
  18. Eat animal balls – I love food but animals balls are still balls at the end of the day, and I’m not going to even think about eating them.
  19. Become a vegetarian – Sorry, but I just love my meat. Pork, Steak, Lamb, give it all to me!
  20. Buy branded stuff that’s worth an arm and a leg – Even if I had enough money to use as toilet paper, I’m never buying expensive stuff just because of the brand. Instead, I’ll put it all into travelling and explore the world whilst I can.

 

What things have you got on your anti bucket list? Drop a comment below!

 

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